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My Dear Loving Children,

Sketchbook-Sept-2014-AI hope that this letter reaches to you in good health.

Another year has passed. Another long lonely year. Countless days full of expectations. Endless weeks of longing. For what? Hoping that you would open that front door and step in. Wishing for that phone to ring for me to hear your voices. Yearning for my lovely, adorable grandchildren to run up to me. But as much as I love to fantasize about that, I know that, that day will never come again. I know that I will never be able to see you again.

Did you know that your father passed away? While you were soaring through your blissful life far, far away from us he left this world. Now I don’t know how long I am going to be here. If it weren’t for my caring neighbors I would have passed away by now.….I don’t remember how many years it has passed since you all left me. There is no way we could ever meet face to face before we depart so I guess this is the only way left to say my last words.

Since the day you were born I was determined to be the best parent any child could ever have. Do you know I stayed up some nights, sometimes for weeks without any sleep? It was just so that you could get a good night’s sleep. Do you know I barely ate a good satisfying meal? Because I always ate the leftovers from you. Do you know how much I longed to lie down during the day? I didn’t because I wanted to be at your service all day!

Ever since you were little I nurtured you in the best ways I could ever do. You were the first priority. You always have been. I had loved you with all my heart. I had put my interests aside and have provided you with all I’ve got. It was my dream to raise you to be the most incredible, well-disciplined human beings. I thought I raised you to be the best. But how wrong was I? I guess I’ve failed.

You all left me at the time I needed you the most. Have you forgotten the way I showered you? The way I got you ready for school? The countless times I walked you to schools, parks and shops? The times I ran to your side when you fell and broke your arm? Have you forgotten the times I cooked your favourite meal? The times when I sat by your bed when you had fever? The moments when I ran to the neighbor to get the medicines?

I took care of you when you had no one to take care of. I looked after my lovely grandchildren when you were too busy having coffee dates with your friends. I did your laundry when you were too preoccupied in tending to something else. I cooked your meals all throughout your life. I cleaned the house while you slept late on weekends. I went shopping for households when you were too exhausted after the day’s “work”. Not once did I complain.

I never say a single word in return when you slash at me. I hold back the urge to sob when you complained at my cooking. I try not to look sad when you say that I smell bad. I never dropped a single tear in front of you. But every night I cry. I cry myself to sleep. I pray for you to find light. I pray for my children to walk in the right path. I wish for the day you will glance at me with love and address me as your mother. I dream about you all, taking care of me the way I did all these years since you were born!

 

I am sorry. I am truly sorry for whatever I have done wrong. I am so sorry for not being as “cool” as you had expected me to be. I am sorry for being too “old”. I am sorry if I hadn’t done enough. I am so sorry my children.

Maybe someday you will learn. When you grow old, you will realize it all. You will see how devastating it is. How unfair and how depressing it is. Maybe someday….someday…when your children leave you or when they start saying hurtful words to you or when they treat you like you had done to me.

I don’t wish for you to go through what I went through. I will never want your children to abandon you too. I wish, for you to learn your lesson before it’s too late. I want to save you from all that terrible heartache. But when will you? When?

This is something a parent must not say to their children. ‘Cause we never talk about our sacrifices, our struggles and hard work in raising our children. I didn’t want to do it either. But I needed you to know this.

Love,

You know very well who

PS. I’m still waiting with open arms….just in case you show up.

 

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Milestone

milesssIt has been a year since I made this blog (31st July 2014). Honestly, I did not aim to post a certain number of posts but so far there are 56 posts and 5 pages. My favourite section is mostly Reviews; film and story reviews. I just love writing about a story I have read or a film I have watched. But not all of them, just the ones with enough juice in it.

“Memorable Events” are kind of similar as it is about a “Live” section of story of my life. You know what I mean? So I love writing those too.

As for stories, there are 7 so far. And I have a couple of unfinished stories that need some Blogarsm to wrap it all up.

So far, there are 4 poems. I love making poems. But the fuel for poem is really expensive so I’m not able to make much.

Making this blog has been one of the very best thing that ever happened in my life. It helped me become a better person and see life more positively.

But I have to say, I cannot keep blogging unless I get inspired and encouraged. So thank you all who have done both of these things for the past year. Thank you my family, my friends, teachers, readers and commenters. Especially Shaha who is one of the most optimistic, encouraging, and inspiring person I have met. Keep inspiring to make me move forward. Thank you MH sir for your support. And thank you Nicholas, (i just thought of a name for you :p) ’cause you read this a lot and almost make fun of it.  Thank you my bros who had helped me set this up. Thank you BluRay for your continues technical help.

My aim is to become a better person each passing day, hopefully, inspiring and encouraging others along the way. And I do dream of doing something significant in this world and making difference in some way.

 

PS: I am curious, what was your favourite post so far? Inbox me 🙂

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Respect Your Parents!

respectThis is a very broad topic and can be written endlessly. So this article mainly highlights the importance of not blaming our parents for what has happened to us.

It just makes me furious to see people who are even educated and people who are capable of differentiating what’s right and wrong, disrespecting their parents. They treat them like they are dirt. They scold, yell and criticize them in a way that those poor parents feel so disheartened. I mean who do they think they are! Being so self-centered and heartless! Have they forgotten that their parents are the reason why they have become who they are?  Why they have reached to the points they are today? Why they have been able to go to schools and colleges and get a life of they are own? If their parents haven’t raised them the way they had, where would they be today?8b518e4e10ee1e8289bf664fb30897fc

No one is perfect. Each of us has our own faults and flaws. Even our parents. And no parent in this world could nurture their child to become the BEST human being in every aspect. We can’t expect them to raise us to become the masters in everything. They can’t teach us everything. So we can’t blame them for every flaw, for every negative trait we have. Have you searched your soul and identified bad things about you and blamed your parents for not teaching you better? Were you angry that they haven’t taught you better than that? Well we can’t put the blame on them. Because they teach us from what they have been taught. From the knowledge they have gained and from the experience they got from their lives. If we are blaming them for whatever is wrong with ourselves and for whatever unlucky things that have ever happened to us, then we should be ready to face the same blame from our future children.

Just think about it. Back then, the lifestyles, level of education, the extent of awareness about abuses, and about so many other things was very low, compared to today. They might not have been educated well and may not have been able to provide you opportunities for studying. They might have believed abusing children is a way of punishing them for bad behavior. They might not have been able to spend some quality time with you because they were too busy raising so many other kids. They could not have given each of us the same level of attention, advice and guidance. That doesn’t give you the right to take revenge on them. So, what matters now is that WE are educated! We know what’s right and what’s wrong. We should know it’s not right to blame them or punish them for however they have raised us. Because, they are our PARENTS for god’s sake! And it’s our job to respect them despite their actions.      images (50)

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Special Thanks To…..

10501762_377370309140256_6982108126047837867_nIf life is a movie, well, if my school life was a movie, then the main actors and actresses were my parents and teachers who appeared in almost every scene. But there are extras in every movie who appears in the background. Without them the movie wouldn’t be complete. Similarly, I had extras in my life who popped in several scenes and without them this movie wouldn’t have been such a blockbuster. So I took a moment or two to think about them and appreciate all their efforts in the past years ( especially A’ level ). I am thankful for all the teachers who taught me up to the 12th grade, however this post is dedicated to several extras who played a vital role in my movie.

  1. The Book Lenders

Thank you everyone who have lent me books and other materials. You are awesome. Thank you, especially, my two friends H and N for letting me borrow your Stafford and Shirly books. Not to mention, some of your past papers, notes, and test papers as well. It would have cost me a fortune to buy all that if you hadn’t given me. So thank you SO MUCH!

 

  1. The doubt clearers

You may have thought you were disturbing me with your text messages full of doubts. But NO! You were helping me to revise. My top three doubt clearers, A, M and A, you had helped me understand some topics more and help me identify parts that even I do not understand. NMR spectroscopy was tough at first but, because I tried to explain that question (in a very confusing manner) I managed to explore that topic. Thank you A.  ^_^.

 

  1. The food supplier

How can I ever thank you. I have probably eaten a lot of your money during those days, but it was worth it. If you hadn’t bought me those chocolate wafers, I would have drowned in that rough exam stress. So thank you! And I’m so sorry for being so cranky and mean those day. It wasn’t me, it was that devil who was brewing up stress inside of me. So forgive me mister!

 

  1. Professor Leenaz

Oh you math genius! If it hadn’t been for your extraordinary, intelligent brain, I wouldn’t have been able to get ready for C34. I’m sure the rest of the group study gang will feel the same as me about this. You inspired us so much. Thank you for helping me solve those monstrous questions countless times. I’m sure going to miss you. Please keep in touch!

 

  1. The human alarm clocks

Oh you life saviors! I would have probably overslept and wasted so much of my precious time if you hadn’t woken me up. You people are better than the alarm in my phone. Thank you so much. I owe you!

 

  1. The geniuses who cleared my doubts patiently

Especially you my friend N! I sent you so many doubts and you explained it to me and even called me to explain it even more! And thank you for all the useful links you had sent me. That was really helpful, especially the answers of those Dhivehi story’s questions.

 

Thank you precious people!! Thank you for making this movie a hit! And I’m sorry if any name has been slipped out from this list. Anyone who had supported, encouraged and helped me in any way, be it big or small, I will always be grateful for you.